walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
