All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize