when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
