thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
