Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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