She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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