She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
