Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
