I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Send help, water and tortillas.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize