dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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