That's when you crack a 10am beer
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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