It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
