Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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