she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You made out with two different species that night
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
