Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
