new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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