I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
