remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
