SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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