$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
