So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
ok first of all what the fuck
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
