i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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