Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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