Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
