Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
