She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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