i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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