I have demons in me.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
