She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize