THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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