I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
