I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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