you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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