"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
