I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
