I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
