I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
His hands were made for my vagina.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
