Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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