margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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