Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Randomize
