Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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