I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
