Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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