so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
