So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
