Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
