somebody snuck up and got me drunk
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
His nipple licking is glorious
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