I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
