I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
