this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
