Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
