HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
When did angry sex become our thing?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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