but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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