this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
