Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I need a beard to bite.
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