I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize