It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
