awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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