why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
