Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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