I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
