You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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