what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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