is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
