idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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