Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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