If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
