If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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