What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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